Monday, March 23, 2009

DJ Swaaan Mixes

Click on play and the entire list will play through. Or click on a file in the drop down menu to change between songs.

Monday, September 22, 2008

The T-Male

I spent two years immersed in an environment of Alpha-Males (and females). No, I wasn’t researching the endangered mountain gorillas in the Bwindi Impenetrable National Park in Uganda. I’m talking about the two years I spent as an investment banking analyst on Wall Street. In general, “The Street” attracts the Alpha-Male – the aggressive, motivated, domineering, confident person looking to achieve success in whichever way they personally define that term.

I adhered to that mold when the job required me to do so, but I think few, if any, people would characterize me as the Alpha-Male. In fact, one of my co-workers actually defined me as the “antithesis of the Alpha-Male.” That colleague was a witty Swede that I shared an office with for the last few months of my investment banking career. During those months, he noticed my laid back attitude, my aversion for confrontation, and my genuine interest in soft rock, love songs, and early 1990’s female pop songs. I generally approved of the characterization at the time, certainly much more so than being labeled an Alpha-Male, but the description was flawed. Like the Alpha-Male label, the “antithesis of the Alpha-Male” connotes one extreme of a sliding scale. I’ve been searching for a hybrid of the two labels to describe males like myself, and I think I stumbled upon it this weekend with the help of a few friends.

If the letter “A” represents the Alpha-Male, and the letter “Z” represents the antithesis of the Alpha-Male, I think the best description of myself is the T-Male. By using the alphabet as a scale for masculinity, and lack thereof, others may plot themselves on the spectrum where best they see fit.

I’ll give credit to one of my friend’s for coining the term T-Male, even though his version was slightly different. He offered a similar label to me Friday night after he jumped into a conversation I was having with a lady at a party. I had just met this girl that evening and we were discussing the typical issues involved in an introductory conversation – music interests, occupation, residence, drink of choice, and preferred mode of transportation.[1] Immediately after our discussion, which lasted about fifteen minutes, she asked what I knew was the inevitable question, “Wait, you like women, right?” I wasn’t taken aback by her questioning, how could I be? Just look at my contribution to our conversation:

Music interests: Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Des’ree, Natalie Imbruglia (To be accurate, I also stated my love for Hip-Hop and R&B)
Occupation: Aspiring writer
Residence: Christopher Street between Bleeker and Hudson
Drink of choice: White wine, preferably Sauvignon Blanc
Preferred mode of transportation: Vespa

Wow, now that I put the conversation in that form, it looks like that could be the profile of numerous men on www.gaysinglesonline.com.

Obviously I wasn’t projecting the manliest persona with my words, nor was I doing so with the skinny red suspenders that I was sporting. However, in the words of Will Hunting, “Well, I got her number, how do you like them apples?”

I happened to find myself in a similar situation on Saturday night. During the course of a conversation with a lady, the topic of The Little Mermaid arose. I would like to say that the girl brought up the subject, but I can’t say that with 100% certainty. Anyway, I bet said girl that I could recite 90% of the words to Part of Your World, the hit song from the soundtrack. She laughed in disbelief, only to be miffed by my nearly instantaneous completion of the task.

Once she caught her breath, her immediate questions, in chronological order were, “Do you have a six year old niece?” and “Are you gay?”

“No” and “Why don’t you sleep over tonight and find out for yourself.” Actually, I just said “No” in response to her second question. An Alpha-Male probably would have fed her that line though.

As I pondered that conversation, I thought of an extremely simple test to determine where a man falls on the alphabetic spectrum of manhood I have constructed. This test will not immediately identify a T-Male, but it should serve as a reliable initial screen from which further questioning can be conducted. Here’s the test, it’s only one question.

Question: Do you like the song Part of Your World? You know, that song from The Little Mermaid?

Here’s what I think would be typical answers from various cross-sections of male.

Alpha-Male: “Dude, your fuckin’ gay. Jaeger bombs!”

Average heterosexual male: “Dude, stop being so weird. Why are you talking about the Little Mermaid at a bar on Saturday night? Let’s go talk to those girls and pound some beers. Ariel was freaking hot though.”

T-Male: “That’s my jam. ‘Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?’ Ariel was so hot, great bod.

Average man that enjoys the party scene on Christopher Street: “OMG, honey. I love that movie. I watch that shit whenever I’m feeling down, it just picks me right up. That little thing, Ariel – Damn, she could sing. You know what? All my friends thought she was da bomb. Disgusting. She was so precious, and they’re all having thoughts about sticking their dicks in that little thing. That ain’t right, baby. But that girl’s daddy, what was his name? Oh, King Triton. Yeah, Triton – with all those muscles, and that trident! Shit, boy. That’s what I’m talking about. Oh, but that bitch, Ursula. No way, honey. That girl needed to clean up her weave. She be lookin’ like a skunk!”

Obviously not a fail-proof test, but it should get you in the ballpark.


So what does this all mean? What exactly is a T-Male? A T-Male is a man of contrast and diversity. A T-Male will shotgun a can of PBR if that’s what the group is doing, but he’s not afraid to sip a Smirnoff Ice if that’s what is readily available. T-Males don’t mind pumping iron, but they also enjoy an hour-long sweat in an aerobics class (I mean a high-intensity exercise class led by a heterosexual, well-built male instructor). T-Males bump Jay Z, Kanye West and Biggie in their headphones, followed by Dashboard Confessional, Natalie Merchant, and Feist. In general, T-Males are comfortable with displaying their feminine side partly because that’s their true selves, but also because doing so is like “the long ball” – chicks dig it.

I’ll be hosting the first annual T-Male get together in a few weeks. We’ll be discussing David Archuleta’s new single while playing Beirut and lamenting the recent outflow of hot summer interns from the city.

Healthy Living,

S. Terrence

[1] Ok, this is usually not a topic discussed in a first encounter with someone. But we did discuss this and it helps me make my point.

Spotted

What’s this? The real life Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) stumbling to an ATM at three in the morning on the corner of Christopher Street and 7th Avenue?

Looks like somebody’s had one too many Johnny Walker’s tonight.

Will Ed get a late night slice of pizza? Who’s the guy sitting in the driver’s seat of the BMW that Ed just stopped to speak with?

Did I follow Ed to the ATM in my own drunken state in hopes that we would become friends and he would introduce me to the entourage of attractive girls that I thought he might be partying with? That's one secret I'll never tell. The only one.

You know you love me.

XOXO and Healthy Living,

Gossip Guy

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

DJ Swaaaaan

With the purchase of two Technics 1200 turntables, a Rane TTM 56 mixer, and the Serato SL software, DJ Swaaaan is officially ready groove with you into the wee hours of the morning.

Be on the lookout for Swaaaaan spinning the best hits from Motown, Oldies, Hip-Hop, R&B, Soul, Pop, and of course, early 90’s melodic hip-hop and female Pop.

All I know is Des’ree has never hurt anyone. Nor has Whitney Houston, Wilson Phillips, Taylor Dayne, Mariah Carey, Natalie Imbruglia, Gabrielle, Annie Lennox, Robyn…and the list goes on.

Keep Swaaaaan in mind for your upcoming events, including:

House party
Charity event
Wedding
Life Partner ceremony – Blue states only
Graduation party
Birthday – Ages 18 and up, please
Bris – mazel tov!
Bar or Bat Mitzvah – L’Chaim!
Slumber party – I’m only a DJ, no other forms of entertainment will be provided
Meetings of racial supremacy groups – I need money
Monday morning wake-up calls – How much easier would it be to get out of bed if Diana Ross’s “I’m Coming Out” was being mixed with EW&F’s “September” right in your living room?

Also, keep your eyes peeled for Swaaaan living on the street holding a sign that reads “Will DJ and Write for Food”. DJ equipment is not cheap.

Healthy Living,

S. Terrence

Sobriety, kinda

Today marks the first day of the last week of my self-imposed sobriety. The program thus far has not been particularly challenging, a fact which I attribute to two chief causes.

First, carving out a three day weekend of debauchery within a sobriety program is quite helpful in breaking up the drought. Some may call such a weekend cheating, but I will refer them to a written piece of evidence published on this website on July 21, 2008 which highlights the details of the sobriety program. Regulation FD, bitches. (sorry, finance/accounting joke)

The second reason is that I've had a strong monetary incentive due to the disheartening realization that I’m quickly depleting my reserve of liquid financial assets. Through my abstention policy, I've created a cash flow positive event, which ultimately increases my equity value and strengthens my credit profile. Finance, bitches. Have some.

However, like anyone who has ultimately been successful in achieving a goal, I have failed along the way. In the words of Usher, these are my confessions. I had a beer the very next day after I initiated my sobriety program. I simply forgot about my pledge until the cool, bubbly beverage hit my lips. Frank Ricard immediately sang to me, “Once it hits your lips, it's so good!” Also, I had one and a half vodka sodas at a friend’s “going away” party. No good reason other than everyone was dancing and I just needed a little something to get loose. Lastly, I had two beers at 4:00am a few nights ago because I was having a mental break down about my inability to write a coherent sentence. I figured the ends justified the means in that case.

Ok. I definitely didn’t adhere to a strict sobriety program, but I’m on target to live 35 of 42 days without a drink, which at 83.3% represents: 1) an eerily similar percentage to Michael Jordan’s career foul shooting mark of 83.5%; 2) a slightly worse result than the Duke Men’s Basketball winning percentage of 85.1% over the last decade and 3) The highest MLB batting average of all time and a lock for the hall of fame.

I’m satisfied with my effort.

Healthy Living,

S. Terrence

4th Writing Assignment (Profile)

In every legal sense of the word, Samuel Russ is American. He is a fully-documented citizen. He has a passport, a social security card and a driver’s license. He’s employed in New York City and files tax returns in New Jersey, the state he lives in with his wife and three children. All these facts prove Samuel’s status as an American, but it’s Samuel’s journey in becoming a U.S. citizen that truly makes him an American.

Like many Ghanaians that work in the country’s gold mines, Samuel’s father passed away at an early age. After years of laboring in the hazardous conditions of the Bibiani mine, Ghana’s second largest gold mine, he developed cancer and died at the age of 48. After losing his father, Samuel was unable to afford the tuition for his education. Samuel was intent on creating a better life for himself, even if he could not pursue further schooling. At the age of 19, with $200 in his pocket, Samuel set off on an incredible journey that would last 6 years, encompass 10 different countries, and conclude in his dream destination: the United States of America.

In 1985, the possibility of immigrating to the United States was not real for Samuel. He didn’t have enough money, but more importantly, he didn’t have a visa. Prevented from traveling west, Samuel embarked to the east. He crossed into Togo, then Benin, then Nigeria, followed by Cameroon, Chad, Sudan and eventually Egypt. Border crossings in Africa are seldom uneventful, especially in countries where violence is present. However, Samuel made his way through each country successfully, though not without some intelligent trickery. “You didn’t need a visa to enter these countries,” Samuel explains, “but you did need money. Just before I left Ghana, I changed all my money to single dollar bills, so it looked like I had a lot of money. I wouldn’t have been able to enter some of those countries if they didn’t think I had enough money to support myself.”

By the time Samuel reached Egypt, he had spent just about all of his savings and was in desperate need of employment. Luckily, Samuel stumbled upon some of his countrymen working at a seaport and they helped him secure a job. He spent a year on the docks and eventually saved enough money to depart the continent. Traveling to the U.S. was still not feasible, so Samuel settled for the next best option: Europe.

He chose Italy. Shortly after his arrival in Naples, Samuel obtained an agricultural job, a job he was well suited for from his upbringing in a rural area of Ghana. He taught himself Italian through an English/Italian dictionary and eventually made his way to Milan where he worked in construction. After five years in Italy, Samuel had saved enough money to return to Ghana and live comfortably. He met his wife, Kate, and he built a house in Accra, the country’s capital. Samuel had accomplished many of his goals, but his travels were still not complete.

“I won the lottery,” Samuel exclaimed with a broad smile, followed by a hearty laugh. “That’s what we call it in Ghana. If you get a visa from the U.S., we say you won the lottery.” Samuel was one of the lucky recipients of a U.S. visa in 1992, a document which allowed Samuel to work in the United States and represented the first step towards U.S. citizenship. After arriving in New York, Samuel (and his wife) moved into an apartment in Rego Park, Queens and worked in multiple jobs for the next several years. In 1998, he relocated to Parlin, New Jersey and became a taxicab driver in New York City. He has been driving ever since.

Amazed at Samuel’s incredible journey to the United States, I asked what his hopes are for his future. “I want to be a lawyer. I’ve been trying to save money for law school, but it’s very difficult with children. I also send money back to my village in Ghana, so that makes it even more challenging.” He looks somber for a brief moment, but then the same charming smile I have seen so many times during our conversation appears on his face. He tells me, “It’s never too late to be what you want to be. I still have a future.”

It’s obvious that the American spirit is still alive and well within Samuel Russ.

Healthy Living,

S. Terrence

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Life

The link below is J.K. Rowling’s speech at Harvard’s 2008 commencement ceremony. It’s one of the best speeches I’ve heard in a long time.

All I can say is that I’m glad this address was not given at my own graduation ceremony three years ago. For if it was, its impact on me would have been greatly diluted.

Read her words. Listen to her speech. Live your life the way you want to live it.

http://harvardmagazine.com/go/jkrowling.html

Healthy Living,

S. Terrence